b"BULLETINNO. 52 MaatttteerrssMANAGEMENTBy Anne Rose with Celebrate-Travel MHow Do You Recover From AnUpsetting Interaction?WEVEALLHADTHOSEDAYSWHENANEGATIVE yourself a notejot down those jumbled feelings. That way,INTERACTIONLEAVESUSFEELINGANGRY,HURT, when you face your next customer, you can begin afreshRESENTFUL, AND OUT OF SORTS. Totally understandable with a cleared mind.thatwhendealingwithhumans,theresgoingtobea What exactly should you be writing to yourself? It helpsnegative experience at some point in time. to write down all the things you wish youd saidthe act ofBut what happens when that interaction is finished and physically writing on a piece of paper releases you fromyoure not finished feeling upset? When your spirit is off- circular thinking and gets it out of your system.kilter, how do you attend to the next person without that Put positive messages near your work station for a quicknegativitygettinginthewayofyourusuallydazzling reminder glance as needed throughout the day to keep youservice? on an even keel.One cashier confided that after shes had a customer yell Find a colleague with whom you can honestly ventat her for something unreasonable or out of her control, she withoutcensoringyourfeelingsbecauseofperceivedhas trouble putting on that happy face for the next customer propriety or validity. Feelings are feelings. Honor them. Iand reverting to her usual perky self. How does she snap out vividlyrememberaparticularlyuglyencounterwithaofthatill-temperandgobacktodeliveringexcellent woman. At first I could handle the nasty names and insults.customer service to the next customer who had nothing to But when she came within inches of my face spewing rage,do with the just-ending negativity? I frankly exploded verbally. It wasnt pretty.Even though it's finished, you're still in that conversation Fortunately, I had an understanding boss who took mein your head! You think of all the things you should have aside, allowed me to vent, and offered practical suggestionssaid, all the clever retorts you didnt think of, the policies on how to remove myself from that kind of volatile situationyou could have better explained and defended, all the things before I responded in kind. His pep talk validated myyoud like to do to that jerk, and all the ways you should feelings but gave me healthier ways of coping. In hindsight,have handled the confrontation and didnt. Youre busily I am more ashamed of my own behavior than hers.involved in an internal monologue so, of course, youre not Thisisthehardest:forgivethatnastypersonormentally prepared for the next human interaction. colleague. Its possible that that person is struggling withThe risk is that youre frowning at your next customer for negative feelings from one of their past encounters, and youno reason, youre curt with an innocent employee, or youre simplygotthebruntoftheirunresolvednegativity.in a rush to mentally convict the next suspicious customer Forgiving someone (without excusing behavior) purges thewho might be simply fumbling with her purse. negativity from your own spirit, so its the healthiest thingHeres the deal: you cant start a fresh conversation with you can do for yourself. Holding on to anger only hurtsa new person until youve finished the old conversation, yourself, not the person who caused it.whether spoken or internalized. You need to close that Wehumans,astheimperfectbeingsweare,willgetspigot of emotions before youre swallowed up in them. irritated by others and irritating to others.Thesearesomesuggestionsonfinishingthatold The key is to not let those irritations seep into all yourconversationsoyoucanapproachanewcustomeror interpersonal interactions and become your usual style ofemployeewithafreshapproach,devoidoflingering communication.negativity.Take a minuteor more if you have the luxuryto Anne Rose is President of Cameron Park, California-based Celebrate-Travel, aboutique travel agency specializing in custom-designed leisure travel. She is passionatefinish that conversation in your head; if the next person is about travel and loves helping consumers experience the joys of travel. Prior to owningimpatientlywaitingforyourattention,youcanexcuse a travel agency, Anne served as Director of Communications for a multinationalyourself by saying, Ill be with you in a moment while I corporation, owned a marketing agency, hosted radio programs, and taught seminarsfinish this paperwork. And turn your back so you can write on communications, publishing, and marketing. Note: All in-print DLI bulletins, including this one, are available on DLIs Drycleaning Encyclopedia App or on the Drycleaning Encyclopedia webedition accessible in the Members Only section of DLIonline.org. This resource is available to Silver, Gold, Premier, and International Members.34 FABRICARE"